The author was born on 6 February 1926. In August 1944, the retreating German army took part of the population of the village of Gostkowo, in the county of Ostrów Mazowiecka. They were taken to Königsberg. Irena was put in a transit camp. She had to work in cleaning duties and digging ditches. In April 1945 she was evacuated from East Prussia by Soviet forces. She was a witness to mass rapes. She returned home on 1 May 1945.
11 August 1944 was a nice day.
We could hear the artillery firing in the distance. My mother’s family came from Gostkowo, life went on as it did every day. The presence of the German army was worrying, nonetheless people went about their daily lives.
Suddenly there was panic in the street running through the village. People screaming and shouting was mixed with the mooing of cows and bleating of sheep being rounded up by the Germans. The Germans ran into farm yards shouting orders. Two came into our house. My cousin Halina and I hid in the wardrobe. They demanded the keys to the stable from my mother. They threatened to kill her if she did not open the doors. Hearing this we could not take it any longer. We came out of the wardrobe and they took an immediate interest in us. They took us in what we were wearing, skirts and yellow woollen blouses, barefoot. They led us to a group of people. They also took my mother who in tears begged the Germans to permit her to return home where she had a small child and sick husband. Then I was 18 and my brother was three years younger.
After marching us several hundred metres, they released my mother. They took us further. They burnt the wheat, already stacked up after harvest. The farmers saw how their life’s work went up in flames taking both the fields and the buildings. The dull sound of guns and the crack of burning straw caused terrible impression.
The march stopped at the village of Mianowo. I saw some older women sitting. I persuaded my cousin and friend Zosia to escape and to sit with them. The women pretended that we were their children. They put head scarves on us which people then wore in the countryside and put dark overcoats to hide our bright yellow blouses. Our freedom did not last long. A German soldier on a horse spotted us. He grabbed my coat and shouted ‘Wo ist deine Schwester?’ My yellow blouse gave me away. He hit me in the face when he saw my sister. He chased us back to the group of people resting by the road.
We set off again. Step by step we continued with the same German on a horse who had found us before right behind us. We came to the small town of Andrzejewo. It was deserted. We were herded into a large square between the houses where we spent the night. As there was quite a lot of young girls and women, the men formed a circle on the ground around us with the females in the centre. We were close to the front and anything could happen.
In the early morning we had to continue in the direction of Ostrów Mazowiecki, some 20km from Andrzejewo. We were very hungry and thirsty. The German on the horse was watching us and so we had no chance of getting away from the group.
The trees along the roadside had been cut at a height of several metres and looked very sad. We understood that the Germans intended to put up a fight here. We saw an orchard on the other side of the ditch alongside the road, there was fruit on some of the trees. I picked up two pears and gave one to Halina. I drank some water from the ditch. My cousin’s feet hurt. This was probably because she had nothing on her feet.
They put us behind barbed wire where there were several barracks. Beside us behind the barbed wire there were some Russian POWs. I suddenly felt a strong pain in my stomach and lost all my strength. It was awful. All night a young boy helped me. He carried me on his back to the toilet which was fifty or so metres away. In the end a German doctor was called. He gave me tablets. I swallowed them and it helped. I felt better. However my cousin was in pain from her feet.
After a couple of days we were taken out of the barbed wire enclosure. As I still had little strength to continue on foot and my cousin was in pain from her feet, we were carried in a cart. Everyone else had to walk. We got to the railway lines at Ostrołęka. We were put on cattle wagons. There were also people from other places, mainly Łochów. They had blankets and dishes – we had nothing. There was a field kitchen nearby. Someone shouted ‘They are handing out food’. I was hungry. We could only count on the others as we had nothing to eat it from. We had not brought either dishes, tins or other containers from home as others had. One lady gave us some of her portion of soup to give us strength. Even though I was worried what was in it, I ate it. I had not eaten for a long time. The lentil soup was very tasty and did us no harm. I felt much better after eating it!
After a couple of days we were put in a closed cattle wagon. The train departed but we did not know where it was going. We only moved when the lines were free. We stayed when trains were going to the front and the front was getting closer.
The train stopped at Allenstein. Through the cracks in the side of the wagon we could see people waiting for a passenger train. One of the German women said to another that they should force us to walk rather than take us by train.
Nights were now cold. We were sitting on the straw, huddled together for warmth. We were very dirty, we had not washed once. We itched all over. We did not know why there were these fleas. We did not feel hungry.
After a couple of weeks give or take a day or two we got to Königsberg. They took us to a place they called ‘The Tip’. Waste from all over the city was brought there. There was a horrible smell. There were several barracks in which we were temporarily accommodated. When night fell, it was impossible to sleep in the barrack as the whole wooden structure was insect ridden. As a result it had a browny red colour. We preferred to sleep outside. Everyone lay down on the ground, those that had a blanket covered themselves. An older lady took us in her care. We could not sleep very well as rats were running all over the place and this was awful. When dawn began to break and we had not yet slept we wondered what else they had in store for us. We only knew that our families were far away and they did not know what had become of us. Did our whole village burn down?
Around mid‐day the place came to life. A large group of German farmers arrived. Two young men approached us and asked us in Polish where we were from and what was happening in Poland. They had not had contact with their families for a long time as there was fighting in the region they came from. They had been forced to work in the port at Königsberg. Seeing our tired faces, dirty hands and legs, they suggested that we go back to their place at the port in order to wash and get something to eat. In general we did not care too much. We thought that nothing worse could happen to us and so we agreed. It was not far away.
We felt great after a good wash. When we saw our clothing however we were frightened. It was full of insects. As we had nothing else to wear, we had no choice but to put our clothes back on. They took us back to the rubbish dump. We understood from our new friends that if we stayed there we would be hungry, however if we went to the countryside with the farmers, we would be fed and be safer. The city had come under aerial bombardment. They asked us to stay in contact by post with them although we did not think that that would be possible. Nevertheless we took their address.
There were not many people at the square. The farmers had taken whole families to the countryside, some people who were alone had not yet been allotted a place to go. It was a bit like a slave market in ancient times. We were taken by two young girls, one of whom spoke Polish. First of all we were taken to the baths in order to get rid of the insects. There our clothing was taken away for disinfection and we were sent for a wash. That was a relief! We had been constantly scratching ourselves and injured our skin as a result.
After the washing was over, the two young girls took us to a building in Berliner Strasse, just next to the cemetery. There were three, three floor buildings and tens of wooden barracks. It was guarded by the military. One building held the army command, the second was for women of various nationalities including Poles, Russians, French and others and the third building was where the men lived.
The camp was called Lager Berta. We lived in the second block, on the second floor in room number nine. In our room there was a table and a couple of chairs in the middle. There was a bunk bed on one side with blankets, on the other were five lockers, one for two people. The room was lit by a bulb, there was a dark blind in the window which did not let light out during air raids. The person in charge was a Lagerführerin who was called Hanoski or something like that.
There were nine of us in the room. We were quite relieved to be here for the first time since leaving our family home even though our first contact with our room mates was not particularly nice. They were not happy that we were there as we would take some of their rations. We were very sorry about this!
Rations were small. At the beginning it was enough for us as we had been travelling for three weeks and our hungry stomachs had got used to eating next to nothing. We were marked with a large letter “P” on our clothing. This did not bother us – on the contrary, we wore it with pride.
On day two there was a roll call. We were given numbers which were obligatory in the camp. We were put in the group which was digging a pool to contain water which would be used in case of fire. The person in charge was an officer called Wetter. After what had happened so far, our faces were tired and thin and we were still in the clothing we had been wearing when kidnapped which was for the summer and we had nothing on our feet.
The officer gave us a spade. We were at the top of the hole and we had to take the soil dug up by the person below us. Most of the people there were Ukrainians. It was very hard work for us. Fortunately the officer treated us well and did not try to hurry us. After the first day’s work, Wetter took us to one of the barracks in which there was a selection of military clothing and shoes. He allowed us to take a blue coat, trousers and shoes and even allowed us to take some extra shoes which looked like slippers which they called ‘Laufschuhe’. That was how we dressed!
The next day at roll call we were not as cold as we had been the first day. The work at the pool took several more days. The rations were enough at the beginning. For the whole day we got a small piece of bread and tiny dab of margarine. Dinner was eaten in the canteen after work consisted of beet or turnip soup. Sometimes we got unpeeled potatoes with a sweet sauce. The potatoes were often bad and not suitable for eating. German officers ate in the same place and their meals were completely different.
Once the water pool was finished we were placed in a group sorting clothing, shoes and other accessories such as holders for ammunition, holsters etc. They were things taken from the front. The clothing was usually dirty, bloody and damaged by fighting. Dirty things were taken to be washed and damaged items to be repaired. The people working here were from Poland and other countries, including Germany. The Germans were not fit for the front. German women were working with us too. Their job was to keep an eye on us.
After a while we began to feel hunger. Our room mates brought extra food from the city. There were many people working in factories in Königsberg and there were many ways to get extra food.
Halina and I decided to write to the boys at the port. We described what we were doing and that we were getting hungrier. We did not think that they would get our letter. Several days later the guards told us that we had visitors. We went to the gate to see our friends from the port. We were so pleased to see them. They brought us two bags and told us to empty them and bring them back empty. We did not know how to thank these wonderful young men!
Our locker was full! We had bread, margarine, jam and packets of biscuits and conserves.
As we worked in the barracks, we had access to things the soldiers needed at the front. We had the idea of giving two woollen sweaters to the boys to thank them for their help. When we met them, they told us that they had enough food but not clothing so we thought that this would be a good present as winter was just round the corner.
It was easy to take the sweaters to our room. The next thing we had to do was to take them to the gate and give them to the boys. This was risky. We did not have any documents nor did we have permission to leave the camp. We waited for a moment when the guard was not there and got out into the street. Noone noticed. We had their address so we went to the port. We found the boys at home. They were very surprised. We gave them the sweaters. However they were rather shocked and instead of thanking us told us that we had taken a huge risk in leaving the camp and if we were caught with military sweaters we could end up in a concentration camp.
So we did not do this again and we never saw them again. They were probably taken to dig trenches as the front was approaching Königsberg.
Winter came. We were employed at Christmas in painting military clothing white. This was difficult and required precision. A German woman was in charge and if she saw something wrong she made us do it again and was very nasty with us.
We had to dig trenches around Königsberg. It was still dark when they woke us. We went to the railway station singing Polish songs. The Germans did not do anything about this. They knew the end was near. Most of the time we just pretended we were digging the trenches. We often left the site in order to go to the toilet. It was the same when we were painting the clothing. We would go and hide in the attic. We lay there for hours, under the beams, careful not to be seen as there was an observation point on the roof and the army was quite often there. Therefore one can understand why we were frightened. Sometimes we could see Katusha flashes at night. At night they were like fireworks and lifted up our spirits. We hoped that we would soon be home.
Lagerführerin Hanoski kept a grip on discipline in our barracks. She would often come into the room in the evening and check if the lights were out at ten. The Lagerführerin in the men’s barrack was apparently more lenient.
We came up with the idea of using magic to find out what was happening at home. There was a young girl who claimed she could talk to ghosts. This way I learned that my parents were still alive and that my future husband would be called Jerzy (and that later came true!). The deputy Lageführerin came to the seances. She was completely different to Hanoski.
It was getting colder. We did not have enough fuel to heat the whole room but we got round this problem! Coal had been stored between the wall of the cemetery and our building. It was guarded by a uniformed German. Those of us who were working with things brought from the front had to check the pockets. We often found cigarettes or a cigar and this we used to pay the guard. In exchange he would allow us to get a basket full of coal. The basket was dropped from the window on the second floor with a chord. We had to do it this way as we could not risk bumping into the Lagerführer with the coal. This way we kept warm!
Halina was assigned to work in the kitchen. At first I was sad but later it turned out that this solved our problems with food. Each day Halina brought a piece of cooked horse meat. She wrapped it in paper and hid it in her pocket. I was glad to eat it. Normally meat was reserved for Germans only.
As for me, I was quite disobedient at work. When the Germans asked me to clean up after work, I refused. They complained to the officer in charge but I still managed usually to get out of doing it. I said it was not fair and that they too should help clean up. The officer clearly understood that the days of Germans being in charge were coming to an end. Every evening we could see Soviet rockets. We could hear the Soviet troops giving orders by megaphone. During air raids, the sirens went off. The Germans ran to the shelter of the cellars and we foreigners went out of the barracks. They said that we were bringing bad luck on them as well as on ourselves.
I was put to work loading parcels onto wagons, lorries and horse drawn carts. It was hard work. There were several women working here and the person in charge was a Lithuanian called Nowak. Poles normally came to take the goods. When Nowak saw a Polish man, he would fly into a rage and pick up anything heavy or sharp at hand in order to hit him. However he never showed any aggression towards the women.
The air raids got worse. Bombs and leaflets calling us to surrender fell from the skies. If we did not give up then the city would be razed to the ground. The German response was to put up posters showing how the Soviet troops murder women and cut off their breasts. We could hear Russian spoken through loudspeakers. We were increasingly sure that the end was near. Only we did not know what would happen to us. The girls told various stories about how the Germans would evacuate us by sea. This was awful as there were also rumours that the bay and Baltic were mined. Fortunately this did not happen. The Germans never managed to evacuate us. The Red Army got into the city first.
As things got worse for the Germans, they opened their warehouses and allowed people to take whatever they wanted. Those that took advantage of this were the braver ones, others sheltered in cellars under our building. Even the officers joined us. The explosions and firing did not stop. The HQ building was destroyed and barracks burned down. Wetter came to us too and sheltered amongst the Poles. We did not feel badly towards him as he had treated us well. Some Poles even gave him civilian clothes so that he could avoid being captured by the Soviets. Nowak, we learned later, was hanged. The Lagerführerin escaped.
Street fighting was in progress. We could hear rifle fire and grenades going off. At last the Soviets got into the camp. They came to the cellar and shouted ‘Who is here?’ And ‘Have you any shoes or watches?’ Then ‘Hands up!’ They said everything in Russian. They ordered us out of the cellar. Running from the third floor of our building we saw German soldiers about to fire a machine gun in our direction. However this only ended up being a nasty fright. We only wanted God to get us out of this hell so that we could return home.
The Soviets took us out of the camp. Everything was on fire. They told us to go to the Pregole bridge. Shells were falling into the water and screaming above our heads. We were lucky the bridge was still standing. Germans were still hiding in the bunkers. ‘Planes were flying above us and we escaped. The dead and wounded were lying in the ditches along with dead horses. The injured asked for help but there was nothing we could do. It was awful! Everytime there was an explosion, everyone fell to the ground. Marysia was covered in earth from an explosion. She screamed that she was wounded but fortunately she was just given a nasty shock.
We walked a couple of kilometres out of the town. There were several hundred people in our group. Other than Poles there were old German people and young German girls, Gypsies and others. We got to some buildings that looked like hangars. What we saw there is difficult to describe. Many dead soldiers and horses. We got away quickly. Decomposing corpses were lying in the fields too.
We slept in a factory. We lay down on the tables in the middle of the room and young German girls under the tables. Marysia insisted on going out to the corridor in order to get water to drink. I tried to stop her saying that the water could be poisoned as the front had passed this way. Despite this, she insisted and took me with her. Suddenly someone appeared from the stairs. Two soldiers grabbed Maria and I and tried to take us away. I grabbed the side of the lorry and screamed for help. I screamed so loudly and held the lorry so strongly that at last someone started to shoot and frightened off our attackers. This could have ended very badly for us. The man who fired called us to him. We did not trust him either after what had happened and quickly ran back inside. Nobody could sleep. Soldiers kept coming in and grabbed the German girls pretending to check their identity documents. They came back in tears, usually with their clothing torn. The soldiers left the Polish girls alone.
The next day we continued. The next night we spent in a prison. We slept on bunks with several persons on one bunk. We were very tired. We asked the soldiers where they were taking us to. They said to Białystok. Apparently they were going to give us identity documents there and then everyone could go where they wanted to.
Most often we would rest in the forest. We spent the nights in the forest too although it was cold. The Russians lit a fire and we could warm ourselves by it, first of all we warmed our front and then our backs. One day we got to a place whose name I cannot remember where there were a lot of soldiers. We were gathered in front of a building and then in turn entered it. They ordered us to strip. One of the soldiers painted us with a white brush from under our arms. For us girls this was humiliating as the windows were not covered and the soldiers stared at us laughing. Once everyone was done, we set off again. We marched about 25km per day. We could hear shooting all the time.
There were field kitchens in most towns where we could get food. Sometimes they needed people to peel potatoes. I remember I was unlucky as I was often chosen to do this. The men tried to protect us and volunteered to do this. No‐one trusted the Soviet soldiers as most of them were drunk.
We spent one night in an empty village. There was no‐one there, the houses were abandoned. Halina and I went into the attic. There was a bed there with a duvet. When we lifted the duvet we saw a dead woman. We escaped immediately. After this we only rested in barns.
After a lot of problems we crossed the previous Polish border and got to Grajewo. We spent the night in a school. There was around 100 of us. A woman warned me that the group the Russians were taking to Białystok would be loaded onto trains there and taken to Siberia. We needed to get away from it and find our own way home. She offered to help us and gave us her address if we needed it. We accepted her offer. We lived near Białystok, as did Marysia, Janka andZosia. As there was still quite a long way to go, there was no point in continuing with this group.
During the night we got out of the school and hid in the bushes until the early morning. We had no documents. The girls had small satchels and a small bag and nothing else. We found the Polish Red Cross and asked them for documents that we were returning from forced labour in Prussia. We were very tired and went to the home of the lady in Grajewo.
Her flat was in a mess. On the beds there was a selection of various pillows and duvets, probably stolen. She gave us this bedding for the night. In the evening we went out for a walk, in order to see the town. We thought that nothing could happen to us here as we were in free Poland. That was not the case. The Soviet authorities were in charge, there was a curfew and no‐one was allowed out at night.
Someone shouted ‘Hit the dirt’ and we thought it was a joke and laughed. It was not a joke and shooting started. Some Russians found us and chased us into some cellars. All night all sorts of people came and went. We sat huddled together and terrified to morning. A soldier came in the morning who took us to a building where troops were quartered and told us to clean the floors. I refused and this only made things worse for me. Once the girls had finished doing what they were told they were free to go but I was kept back and told to clean up the courtyard too. In anger and frustration at not being able to do anything about it, I broke into tears. A passer‐by saw what had happened and offered to do it for me. At his request, I was released. The girls were waiting for me outside.
We went back to the woman’s flat. She was not at all surprised that we had not returned during the night. During the night we were robbed. I lost my shoes and a lot had been taken from the girls’ satchels.
The next day we left Grajewo and walked to Łomża. I walked in stocking feet as my slippers fell to bits after only a couple of kilometres. When the socks wore out, I walked bare foot. Somewhere between Zambrów and Czyżew a man gave us a lift in his horse and cart for a few kilometres. He wanted payment but we had nothing. One of the girls gave him a woollen sweater. We continued on foot. Gostkowo was no longer far but it was as though the road was getting longer. We were encouraged with hope that we would soon see our families. Near our village we saw the cows and a boy. He saw us and then ran home shouting ‘Our girls are back!!’ It was Halina’s brother.
It was 1 May 1945. Everyone ran out. They did not believe that it was us!
Thus ended this nine month nightmare.